so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
