I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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