Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize