where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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