I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
