"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
