Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
