Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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