I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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