I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
