he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
