I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This house was built for laser tag.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
