he thought i was a dude.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
