Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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