listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
