If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize