we're chasing vodka with high fives
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
