Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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