Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
