I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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