Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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