Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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