I puked a lego.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize