pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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