ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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