omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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