took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
