i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
