She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
