i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
