just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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