guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Iād clean the kitchen before making food. Mark ārang in the New Yearā with some rando in there last night
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