I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
