their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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