Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
