i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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