Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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