And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
