He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
