just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
