I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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