You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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