I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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