even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
ok first of all what the fuck
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
