haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
