Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
