Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
