Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
