For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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