and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize