Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
two words...techno handjob
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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