I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
