I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
