I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Soap is not a condiment
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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