Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
