Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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