Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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