I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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