ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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