I didn't shave. On purpose
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
