I don't usually arrange sex via text message
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
