I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
