There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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