he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
