Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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