ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
