How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
