How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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