I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
