don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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