my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
