I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
