i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the day after is always just damage control
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
