Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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